Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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