Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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