id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
