you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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