Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I AM VODKA MAN
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
