Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
