it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
