ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
