How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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