Who did Billy Mays play for?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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