Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
