Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize