Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
