just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
