weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
