How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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