thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
