why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
