I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
