The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
