She is in my trunk
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us