oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high