Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.

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  (540): I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form. http://tfl.nu/y5wx
  Replies (10) Good night (537) Bad night (3279)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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  (908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm
  Replies (63) Good night (1188) Bad night (5322)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just so you know, I have a bf.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.

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  (847): Just so you know, I have a bf. (405): I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful. http://tfl.nu/esk6
  Replies (7) Good night (4144) Bad night (757)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.

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  (304): yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe. http://tfl.nu/4q4f
  Replies (13) Good night (6035) Bad night (948)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?

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  (785): Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there? http://tfl.nu/sg5o
  Replies (2) Good night (2665) Bad night (770)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?

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  (717): I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman? http://tfl.nu/8vyd
  Replies (6) Good night (1964) Bad night (719)
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  (707): View more from California

  You rang?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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  (707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm
  Replies (15) Good night (2401) Bad night (839)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.

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  (716): it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend. http://tfl.nu/9nvz
  Replies (2) Good night (1419) Bad night (782)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.

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  (706): I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/oprl
  Replies (4) Good night (1369) Bad night (389)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.

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  (813): My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me. http://tfl.nu/3nzi
  Replies (9) Good night (950) Bad night (351)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo

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  (301): I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo http://tfl.nu/z0dg
  Replies (2) Good night (1339) Bad night (261)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it

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  (316): Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it http://tfl.nu/i3st
  Replies (5) Good night (1337) Bad night (378)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral

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  (702): all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral http://tfl.nu/o1j6
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (329)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.

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  (314): Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree. http://tfl.nu/qbkd
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (239)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.

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  (773): she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho. http://tfl.nu/fmz4
  Replies (0) Good night (485) Bad night (215)

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