exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
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this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND