Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.

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(513): I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence. http://tfl.nu/wy8q

Replies (14) Good night (2824) Bad night (1014)
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(772): View more from Florida

What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?

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(772): What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous? http://tfl.nu/ray0

Replies (14) Good night (1300) Bad night (2671)
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(661): View more from California

Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

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(661): Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/ev42

Replies (22) Good night (5292) Bad night (1922)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.

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(215): after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values. http://tfl.nu/kv5s

Replies (50) Good night (2275) Bad night (3324)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time

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(812): Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time http://tfl.nu/8x6u

Replies (6) Good night (3140) Bad night (982)
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(410): View more from Maryland

He asked if I wanted to "hang out"

(410): View more from Maryland

A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"

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(410): He asked if I wanted to "hang out" (410): A verb which here means "do lines off my dick" http://tfl.nu/6cb5

Replies (9) Good night (3331) Bad night (1300)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.

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(662): As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom. http://tfl.nu/d15a

Replies (15) Good night (2410) Bad night (964)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.

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(215): No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death. http://tfl.nu/8wb9

Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (1736)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.

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(814): BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team. http://tfl.nu/tfzh

Replies (2) Good night (1544) Bad night (589)
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(416): View more from Toronto

BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.

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(416): BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/cryj

Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (452)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises

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(410): I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises http://tfl.nu/f0t9

Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (465)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.

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(617): Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/hwpt

Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (480)
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(616): View more from Michigan

We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened

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(616): We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink (1-616): Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened http://tfl.nu/0an5

Replies (1) Good night (1015) Bad night (307)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.

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(484): Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower. http://tfl.nu/xncl

Replies (4) Good night (437) Bad night (564)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet

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(443): Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet http://tfl.nu/rex9

Replies (0) Good night (311) Bad night (499)

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