It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.