Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?