Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes

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(540): I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes http://tfl.nu/2t0p

Replies (15) Good night (673) Bad night (1029)
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(404): View more from Georgia

FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night

(1-404): View more from Georgia

haha good one..how did you even know?

(404): View more from Georgia

we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

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(404): FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night (1-404): haha good one..how did you even know? (404): we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck. http://tfl.nu/dmh7

Replies (46) Good night (5099) Bad night (1351)
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(214): View more from Texas

he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???

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(214): he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me??? http://tfl.nu/mbxc

Replies (126) Good night (628) Bad night (10314)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

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(910): too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time. http://tfl.nu/w0g5

Replies (17) Good night (4294) Bad night (694)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

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(203): I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust. http://tfl.nu/xny1

Replies (31) Good night (3908) Bad night (683)
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(415): View more from California

the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.

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(415): the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties. http://tfl.nu/jpbi

Replies (25) Good night (12946) Bad night (705)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.

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(262): Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award. http://tfl.nu/7kwq

Replies (6) Good night (3645) Bad night (827)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

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(401): so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C http://tfl.nu/zt1d

Replies (12) Good night (3881) Bad night (983)
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(727): View more from Florida

Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...

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(727): Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo... http://tfl.nu/pcov

Replies (13) Good night (2722) Bad night (893)
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(518): View more from New York

Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

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(518): Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs. http://tfl.nu/lvji

Replies (2) Good night (1316) Bad night (600)
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(818): View more from California

I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.

(805): View more from California

What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.

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(818): I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated. (805): What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes. http://tfl.nu/bk6e

Replies (6) Good night (2930) Bad night (812)
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(240): View more from Maryland

This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.

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(240): This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room. http://tfl.nu/ruma

Replies (4) Good night (1326) Bad night (483)
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(503): View more from Oregon

That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...

(541): View more from Oregon

Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.

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(503): That's always how I imagine things at your apartment... (541): Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here. http://tfl.nu/wx1r

Replies (0) Good night (613) Bad night (265)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.

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(908): i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real. http://tfl.nu/55e2

Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (331)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it

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(601): I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it http://tfl.nu/z5ku

Replies (0) Good night (192) Bad night (325)

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