Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
