You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
