WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
