dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
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I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
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We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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