No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
