Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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