I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
