Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
