I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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