JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
