So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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