So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
