I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
