How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
