i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
