Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
