first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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