Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
