dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
