dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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