She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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