we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
