You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
