I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
