shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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