can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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