i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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