I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
