I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
