Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
