Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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