You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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