The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
