it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
