i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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