Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
