I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
