:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
