Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
