Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.