U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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