At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The air was thick with penises
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.