First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.