She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!